{Senior}

So many thoughts about life right now it's crazy and I don't know how I'm going to get them on paper. But wow. I'm a senior. Here's a little timeline through the years:

9th Grade:

10th Grade:

11th Grade:

12th Grade:

In some ways I still feel like I'm a ninth grader. When I think of school I always think of ninth and tenth grade cross country and that I still have lots of high school left. Just kidding. I'm the oldest. One year left. I'll be honest, I didn't have the best attitude going into this year. I thought that it would help time move faster because I wanted Logan to come home and I just wanted to focus on school and make it through the year. Then this week came along and I had the most fun I've had in so long. And I don't want this year to end. I don't want to leave yet. I'm finding out more and more that life never goes as planned. I thought that this year I'd just hang out with Halea and Gibs and we'd have fun together and just be the trio. I was ok with moving off to college because I thought that all the hard goodbyes were over and Halea and I would have go to school together and I'd just be alright with life and nothing would be different. But Heavenly Father decided to bless me with more friends. I get attached to people really easily and really quickly. I hate it because we all eventually have to say goodbye. I like it because I get to know others in a more personal way because I care about them a lot. Well. Now I'm attached. Daniel Woodward decided to just walk right into my life and be the nicest person ever. He is so funny and he actually likes talking to me and hanging out with me and he gives me much needed advice and he just listens. Daniel you weren't supposed to be a part of my life. I wasn't supposed to care about you so much and want to hang out with you tons and worry all year about you forgetting about me. But in reality you were always supposed to be here. Heavenly Father knows I need you and that you need me too. Then there's Connor. You make me smile almost every day. You're hilarious and innocent and positive. And I love when you text me when I'm sitting right next to you :) And there's Alesha. And she laughs with me about the weirdo experiences we have at the bakery and she doesn't get mad at me and she just is fun and willing to go on adventures. And of course there are so many other great friends I have, too. These are just three that have been on my mind a lot the past two days. And all of these people just gained a huge piece of my heart over the last few weeks. I can only imagine how much more I'll love them by the end of the year. I'm such a worrier, that's just who I am. And I'm scared of goodbyes more than anything. I don't like saying goodbye to people that I love. I just want to be friends with everyone forever. And I know that's not what God's plan for me is but in my little teenage mind that's what I want. Senior year scares me because of the fact that there are a lot of goodbyes ahead. That's why I want to take advantage of every opportunity I have to be around these amazing friends right now. We're going to have so much fun and Heavenly Father will make sure that those who are meant to be in my life forever will be in my life forever. This year is already off to a great start. This past week was so fun and full of memories that I want to remember for a very long time.

On Monday me, Halea and Gibs went planking in Salt Lake City. It was on our bucket list and we figured since it was our last day of summer we better check it off the list. Seriously so fun. We got some weird looks and were laughing so hard. Good times with these two crazy kids: 

Tuesday was the first day of school. I have pretty easy classes but I still feel like I'm going to be learning a lot. I'm also so very happy to be back at Seminary. Man, I've missed it. If you wanna see a super funny video our teachers made click here. 

Thursday we had a meet at Sugarhouse Park. I felt awful and it wasn't the best race but it was fun being with my team and watching Mary try to lift Connor and overhead squat him :) I say this a lot but I really do love my team and coaches and just cross country in general.

Some random pics from school:

 Painting class with Gibs and Kaden.

 Apparently lunch is better laying down? Austin, Daniel, Kaden, Connor (classic)

When me and Daniel are twins and both wear matching stripes. 

Then on Friday was the first football game of the season! We won 60-20 (guys, that's a big deal) and it was so fun to just be there with my friends laughing and cheering. And we went and got ice cream at Culver's afterward and just had a fantastic time. One of my favorite nights in a while (I say that a lot). "How hot would that be?" 

 Kristoffer (He just moved here from Florida and joined cross country. He's super cool and way more social than I ever would be if I just moved. Such a fun kid), me, and Emily Anderson

 Me, Em, Daniel, Lesha (and Shalae photobombing like a pro)

 Me, Connor, Dan man- my favorites.

 Grandpa Gibs.

I do the same face in every picture. It's better than having my tongue out, I guess :) 

Last night we went to the play "Into the Woods" at the high school. Even though the play was incredibly long (3 hours to be exact) it was pretty good. I was going insane at the end but Ethan kept me laughing by looking back and making weird faces at me every five minutes. We then went and got froyo at Uswirl afterward. That always makes life a million times better. Sadly, though, I didn't document our adventures yesterday but take my word for it that it was a good time. 

I'm really excited for this year and the adventures that await. I found a great quote by Eleanor Roosevelt that I think sums up life for me right now: "The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience." I need to stop being afraid of the future and just enjoy the time I have with my friends right now. Everyone is in my life right now for a reason so I need to take advantage of the time I have to touch their hearts and let my heart be touched by them.

And now because I just always love posting spiritual thoughts, here's a quote from Elder Holland: 

"I plead with you not to dwell on days now gone, nor to yearn vainly for yesterdays, however good those yesterdays may have been. The past is to be learned from but not lived in. We look back to claim the embers from glowing experiences but not the & ashes. And when we have learned what we need to learn and have brought with us the best that we have experienced, then we look ahead, we remember that faith is always pointed toward the future. Faith always has to do with blessings and truths and events that will yet be efficacious in our lives."

This is honestly perfect for me right now. Look forward and have faith. 

Love, Kenz 

{Random}

Random happenings of the past week. I've been a lot busier than I'm used to but it's good cuz I love doing things. Beware this post is mostly for my own sake...

First I read this book:

The cover is adorable. The book was wonderful too. I want to write some quotes from it down just cuz I want to be able to find them later on. I really liked this book because it was historical fiction and I really like that. Also I felt like lots of the emotions that were portrayed in the book are the emotions that I feel in my life all the time. I could really connect with the characters. It was an adorable book.

"I try not to live in the past, he thought, but who knows, sometimes the past lives in me."

"Feelings can only be hidden for so long from those who really pay attention."

"It's enough that you came. I knew you would. Maybe it was my dream. Maybe I was just wishing it. But I knew you'd find me."

"There's hope for you yet. You wait and see. Might take a while, but there's always hoping."

"I hope you'll think of the good, not the bad. Of what was, not what wasn't meant to be. Of the time we spent together, not the time we've spent apart. Most of all, I hope you'll think of me."


Next- Logan had his first baptism on Sunday! He was so excited, he really felt a connection to the brother he was baptizing. He was a 19 year old boy and Logan said that he just really got along well with him. I prayed that the Spirit would be strong and his investigator would be comforted and know that he made the right decision. Logan said the baptism was amazing- prayer answered! I'm so proud of this boy.

 Rainy rainy Thailand...

 Look at that smile :)

This Monday and Tuesday me and Halea and my mom and Sister Walker went to visit UTAH STATE. Am I really old enough to be touring college campuses? Whatever. It was seriously so fun tho... We stopped at the South Towne Mall on the way there and got some quality school shopping in... We came across these beauties at Forever 21:

I got 2 pairs of pants and 3 new shirts and some new shoes. Score. I love school shopping. Also we ran into Lesh at lunch!

Then we continued on our way. We stopped at the Brigham City tabernacle and temple. Both buildings are so gorgeous...

 Then we made it to Logan and looked at the tabernacle and walked down mainstreet. Don't go in the vintage clothing shop. Creepy ladies work there and they don't sell a lot of vintage clothing. "If the girls could stay in the front of the store please." AHH! We'll all stay in the front! Actually, we'll all just leave! Anyway... Then we walked around the temple and admired the old adorable houses. Seriously so great.

 Bull country.

Then we ate at Noodles and Company which was fantastic and we drove to the boonies to our hotel in Tremonton. Good thing our hotel wasn't ghetto. We even went hot tubbing. We party hard.

The next morning we wanted to do baptisms at the Logan temple. I totally brought the wrong recommend. I'm so thankful that the temple president was so helpful and helped me call my bishop and found a way to let me do baptisms. I love when people are nice. The temple was beautiful and the Spirit was strong.

Then we toured the campus! Everyone was so genuinely nice and I loved being there. I had a good feeling there and it was really fun. Go Utah State... This was such a memorable trip. I loved being with my mom. And Halea's mom is so funny. I'm so thankful for Halea. She is the greatest friend ever and I don't know what I'd do without her. I love her and she takes care of me and makes sure I don't do anything stupid. She's got my back and I'm so lucky to have her... 

 Cat socks.

Wednesday night Jason took me to a free movie. He's been promising me one for a few months now and we finally found a time when he wasn't working. This kid is so great. He's been a really great influence in my life the last year. He was in my seminary class and has an amazing testimony. I'm thankful for his ability to smile through everything and make everyone else smile too. We got snowcones and saw Despicable Me 2. It was a good time.

That awkward moment when you get snowcones with Gibson so much that every tall guy with black hair is suddenly named Gibson... 

Thursday night Halea and I met with the missionaries. Gosh I love them. They were so funny and so nice to us. I'm so thankful for all the missionaries that are giving everything to spreading the gospel of the Lord.

Then Halea, Gibs, and I went on a little summer adventure. We went to smith's and got food and then we drove up to the top of Draper and looked out over the city lights and went on a little night hike. It was really fun and I'm sad our summer is coming to an end. I love these 2 crazy kiddos that have been my support and smile these last few months :) I'm pretty sure we totally ruined a couple's romantic moment up there with our incredibly loud laughter and bathroom humor. We're so immature.

 City lights...

 When Gibson forgets to turn the camera around.

 Awkward silhouette picture.

Now on the spiritual side of things... I read 2 fantastic talks... But for a Small Moment by Neal A. Maxwell and Witnesses Unto Me by Jeffrey R. Holland.

Here are some of my favorite quotes from the talks:

"If God chooses to teach us the things we most need to learn because he loves us, and if he seeks to tame our souls and gentle us in the way we most need to be tamed and most need to be gentled, it follows that he will customize the challenges he gives us and individualize them so that we will be prepared for life in a better world by his refusal to take us out of this world, even though we are not of it. In the eternal ecology of things we must pray, therefore, not that things be taken from us, but that God's will be accomplished through us." -Elder Maxwell

We all have our own trials and weaknesses but we're preparing to live in the presence of God. If we want to feel worthy of living in His presence we must become like Him through lessons we learn in this world. 

"I don't know what the divine design is in the challenge of that kind of solitude. I know that this man, our brother, is meeting that challenge. Some of us will have to be most courageous, not when we're alone, but when we're in a crowd. Whatever the form the test takes, we must be willing to pass it. We must reach breaking points without breaking. We must be willing, if necessary, to give up our lives—not because we have a disdain for life as some do, but even though we love life—because we are the servants of him who did that in such an infinite way for all of us." -Elder Maxwell 

Whatever the form the test takes, we must be willing to pass it. I love that. We must be willing to go through anything with God's help. I'm so thankful for His help and strength.

"People do not join the Church because of what they know. They join because of what they feel, what they see and want spiritually.

 Asking every member to be a missionary is not nearly as crucial as asking every member to be a member! Thank you for living the gospel.

 Pray that under the divine management of such things, the missionary opportunity you want is already being prepared in the heart of someone who longs for and looks for what you have." - Elder Holland

I love Elder Holland and how he simplifies everything. We just need to live the gospel and God will prepare others to hear our words. Oftentimes what we know doesn't matter, only what we feel through the Spirit.

I'm thankful for the gospel and my knowledge that it is true. I really wish every single person in the world could feel the same way I do and I know they can if only they ask God. I want people to be happy like I am. I want them to know God is real and He leads the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Christ is coming again and I'm going to meet Him. I'm so excited for that day. I want to share my knowledge with everyone so they can be excited to meet Him too. 

There's a bunch of random happenings for you. Life is good. 

{Cross Country Camp}

Cross country camp is always one of the greatest parts of the summer. Some of the funniest team memories are made at camp. This year was a little different than in years past but still so fun... Here's a play by play of our adventures this week:

Day 1: Spanish Fork Canyon... Diamond Fork Trail

 Traditional calf picture... Em, me, Jac, Maddy

 The team at the hot pots. There weren't even any naked men we had to shield our eyes from. Yay!

 Ice baths in the river! The best memories :)

 Don't mind that it looks like Gibs just got out of the shower.

Em and Jac photobombing in the back... Daniel, Connor, Kaden, Madi, me Maddy.


Online it said that this trail was 4.5 miles "easy". Lies. It was really hard. I haven't done any trail running in a long time and the hills were rough stuff. It was really pretty tho and the hot pots were cool. They smelled awful... It was really entertaining to hear Gibson complain/gag when we passed the hot pots :) It was a fun trail and the ice baths afterward were so great. On the bus ride home we made funny music videos and were laughing so hard. Then we had cafe rio salads back at the school and played around the world ping pong. It was so fun to just be with my teammates and get to know people that I normally wouldn't get to talk to as much. Daniel and Connor are seriously so funny. We went to Jac's house after ping pong and watched a movie and Jackie french braided Connor's hair. So so funny.

Day 2: Provo Canyon... Big Springs Trail

 Awe look how much fun we're having :)

This trail was so fun! It was 4.5 miles so it wasn't too long and it wasn't too crazy hard but it was hard enough that you felt like you accomplished something great. Then we had Jimmy Johns and just talked for a while until we went on our next run. I only did like 2 miles more that day with Em and Maddy. Then we took ice baths in the river and they were so great! Not painfully cold! It felt so good. And Mary dunked her head :) Then we drove home on the bus and sang songs and just talked. Another great day :) That night I slept at Jac's cuz my parents were gone. Emily Allen, Emily Anderson, Maddy Kauffman, me, and Jackie all hung out. We talked on the tramp about "boys and instagram likes" (according to Thomas) and we were just going crazy :) We were snapchatting Connor and Daniel and they were hilarious... "Here we are walking down the street in our shoes and our fancy pants." Here's one of the beauties we sent to them:

It was one of those crazy nights :) They also dropped a waffle off at the door with a note that said something about them stalking us or something. Crazy boys. Me and Emily Allen slept on Jac's floor after scriptures study and rubbing out each other legs with "The Black Mamba" (Jackie's rolling pin). Rub outs are always an adventure :) The next morning we woke up at 6:15 to get ready for:

Day 3: AF Canyon... Ridge Trail 157 (Aka "The Real Deal")

 Coach Jamie, Emily Anderson, Jackie, Emily Allen, Maddy, Ryan, Mary, Sami, Abby

 Daniel Woodward, Alex Mickelson, me, Gibson Ainge, Connor Arnell, Jackie Heaps

We do this trail every year for cross country camp. Also we always bring out the purple paint and this year we made pink headbands too :) The trail is 10 miles and the first time we did it we thought it was the hardest thing ever. We're so much stronger this year- it wasn't even that bad! It was really fun actually! I ended up running by myself half of the way cuz I'm too slow for the front group but too fast for the back group. Awkward. But I ran with Emily Allen on the way back and it was a lot of fun. I really love talking to her, she's one of the best friends I've ever had. We talked about how different every year is. It's so hard to get used to people being gone. It was so weird having Derek, Ty, Logan, Davis, Braden, and Tyson all gone. But we talked about how there are different things that are fun each year. We miss the years before but at the same time I love this year because those people that I'd normally talk to are gone so I get to talk to new people and make new friends. There are different things that bring us joy in each year, with each change that happens. The way back went by really fast and we finally FINISHED! Woohoo. Yay for fruit snacks and pretzels at the end of our runs! Then we took ice baths at Tibble Fork and had pizza back in Lehi. That night we had a little concluding party. We watched Despicable Me and a highlight video with pictures from camp. It was a lot of fun. I'm really thankful for my team. I'm glad I could get to know new people this year and create lots of fun memories with them. I will never get used to the constant change that is so present in our lives and in our team but I'm glad that every year is fun and every year I learn more about myself as a runner and as a person. I'm going to miss cross country a lot when I graduate. I love Coach Rowe and how he always teases us and makes us laugh and I love the trips we go on and I love that we're crazy and always ourselves. I love running, it makes me a stronger and better person and I'll forever be grateful for my high school running career :) 

Here's a few pictures I found from cross country camp in 2011. I can't believe this was 2 years ago- I remember it so vividly... I love and miss all these kids...

 The moose... Those crazy kids. There were no moose painted on chests this year :)

Ty, Logan, Sister Heaps (I think),  Min, Em, Jac, Maddy

Yay for another successful cross country camp :) I'm excited to see what this season will bring...